"My Vagina Was My Village" (12)

My Vagina Was My Village

(pages 61-63)

“My vagina was green, water soft pink fields, cow mooing sun resting sweet boyfriend touching lightly with soft piece of blond straw.

There is something between my legs. I do not know what it is. I do not know where it is. I do not touch. Not now. Not anymore. Not since.

My vagina was chatty, can't wait, so much, so much saying, words talking, can't quit trying, can't quit saying, oh yes, oh yes.

Not since I dream there's a dead animal sewn in down there with thick black fishing line. And the bad dead animal smell cannot be removed. And its throat is slit and it bleeds through all my summer dresses.

My vagina singing all girl songs, all goat bells ringing songs, all wild autumn field songs, vagina songs, vagina home songs.

Not since the soldiers put a long thick rifle inside me. So cold, the steel rod canceling my heart. Don't know whether they're going to fire it or shove it through my spinning brain. Six of them, monstrous doctors with black masks shoving bottles up me too. There were sticks, and the end of a broom.

My vagina swimming river water, clean spilling water over sun-baked stones over stone clit, clit stones over and over.

Not since I heard the skin tear and made lemon screeching sounds, not since a piece of my vagina came off in my hand, a part of the lip, now one side of the lip is completely gone.

My vagina. A live wet water village. My vagina my hometown.

Not since they took turns for seven days smelling like feces and smoked meat, they left their dirty sperm inside me. I became a river of poison and pus and all the crops died, and the fish.

My vagina a live wet water village.

They invaded it. Butchered it and burned it

down.

I do not touch now.

Do not visit.

I live someplace else now.

I don't know where that is.”

This is an excerpt from, The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler. When I first thought about writing a blog post about this book, I was stuck. I had no idea how I was going to write a piece on a book all about vaginas. Then Mrs. Talley told us that we should talk about how a certain part made us feel. After she said this, this is the chapter that I kept going back too.

So, how did this make me feel?

I felt incredibly upset after reading this. That this happens. Not just once, but all the time. This is something that is normal in some parts of the world, and it troubles me. I also felt angry. How could a man do this to a woman and be able to sleep at night? Doesn’t he have a wife? Doesn’t he respect women? I felt moved. This was just such a powerful piece that I was moved to want to change circumstances for other women. I felt uncomfortable. Who wouldn’t? I was sitting in the library reading about a woman’s vagina getting torn, and things that are not meant to be up there, shoved up there. It made me incredibly uncomfortable. I felt shocked. I felt compassion, compassion for the women who have been through this and feel like they can’t go on. Woman that use to believe that their vagina was their “hometown,” comparing it to a place of comfort and safety, and now can’t even think about it without being disgusted.

I think that one of the reasons this piece is so powerful is because of the way it was written. You go from reading a beautiful sentence, of how her vagina was “green, water soft pink fields,” to a sentence like this one, “Not since I dream there's a dead animal sewn in down there with thick black fishing line. And the bad dead animal smell cannot be removed. And its throat is slit and it bleeds through all my summer dresses.” This part of her body was so beautiful and sacred to her, and now has no meaning to her at all, except disgust.

This is a true story, and we need to be careful that we do not dismiss it. I am a victim of reading a story, and because it did not happen to me, I don’t really think twice about it. This habit is dangerous. We were placed into a safe life, when we could have easily been born into a village where this happens to women daily. We didn’t get to choose where we ended up, so we should do something about it while we still can before it’s too late.

The Big Question (11)

While reading, The Beauty Myth, by Naomi Wolf, the main question that I keep asking myself is, what is true beauty?

We are always told that true beauty comes from the “inside,” but in today’s society we are constantly bombarded by the media with advertisements and people teaching us that beauty does not come from the inside, but rather outwardly adornments. For example, Kate Moss caused hysteria with her comment saying, “nothing taste as good as skinny feels.” Its sad that girls look up to a woman that is giving such negative advice.

After finishing, The Beauty Myth and Killing Us Softly 4, I realized how much advertisements subconsciously effect us all. They are constantly telling us that we need to bu things that alter our appearance because we are not “good enough.” We are made to believe that the day we have been dreaming of since our youth, our wedding day, will not come if you do not “look” beautiful in a mans eyes. Women go to painful lengths, such as cosmetic surgery, and tell themselves that it is not “painful” because it’s for beauty. We make ourselves believe that are bodies are not beautiful, when we could not having working legs, or have suffered from third degree burns. When it comes down too it, we are brainwashed.

Its said, because these companies that advertise to use are extremely successful, because we hate ourselves. They are selfish. They make women believe that, “if it flatters our self-esteem, it is not effective.” Somehow these people sleep at night, and I am not really sure how.

Wolf mentioned at the end of the book, that we need to talk about the beauty myth, in order for it not to effect us anymore. “This will be hard. Talking about the beauty myth strikes a nerve, which, for the most part f us, is on some leve very raw. We will need to have compassion for ourselves and other women for our strong feelings about the “beauty,” and be very gentle with those feelings.” We need to get in our mind that its less about looking beautiful, and more about feeling beautiful. “In a world in which women have real choices, the choices we make about our appearance will be taken at last for what they really are: no big deal. Women will be able thoughtlessly to adorn ourselves with pretty objects when there is no question that we are not objects. Women will be free of the beauty myth when we can choose to use our faces and clothes and bodies as simply one form of self-expression out of a full range of others. We can dress up for our pleasure, but we must speak up for our rights.”

Why do you want a wife? (10)

While interviewing my grandmother over spring break, we got on the subject of her parents and my grandfathers parents. What were they like? What were their roles in the house? My mother said that her parents were both very kind and loving people. Her father was very independent and never made his wife wait on him. If he needed something, he got it. He helped around the house and definitely did his share. How refreshing right? My grandfather’s household was a lot different. She said that his father was a farmer and when he stepped foot in the backdoor he immediately began barking orders at his wife. He would sit at the dinner table and not use full sentences. He would say things like, “BREAD. TEA.” “I don’t even think he knew how to pour his own tea,” said my grandmother. She finished by saying, “your grandfather knew that he never wanted to be like his father, and he isn’t.”

After reading through my interview and reading this part, it called my attention back to a short article we read earlier on in the semester, “Why I Want a Wife,” by Judy Syfers. This article is meant to be humorous, and it succeeded. Here is an excerpt from this article:

“I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I nee the minute I need it.”

The question is, “what do men want in a wife?” Do they want someone like my mother’s mother, someone who is kind and loving, and is well respected? Or do they want someone like my grandfather’s mother, who was ordered around every second of everyday? I don’t think every single man feels the way my grandfather’s father felt, especially now that woman have become much more respected in times like those, but its still a question that can keep you up at night.

Media (9)

http://agnijagrigule.tumblr.com/page/7

Find this picture shocking? Most people would. But what people in the fashion industry do not realize is the pressure they put on girls in the 21^st century. Whether it be conscious or not, the idea of being “perfect” has become THE thing for girls our age to stress about. Do you remember when you were 9 years old and you could care less if your clothes matched or if your hair was perfect? I do.

For the past two English classes we have been watching a film called Killing Us Softly starring Jean Kilbourne. This was a very hard film to watch because Kilbourne was so blunt, which was needed. Our minds are filled with ads telling us that we need to look a certain way, eat a certain food, use a certain product, in order for a male to find us attractive, or to be “happy,” and that is just not true.

But we don’t only get this from advertisement, but from TV shows too. In our most recent book The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf, she says, “A girl learns that stories happen to “beautiful” women, whether they are interesting or not. And interesting or not, stories do not happen to women who are not “beautiful.”  She is right in saying this. Look at all of your most favorite TV shows. A few of mine are Gossip Girl, 90210, Glee and Grey’s Anatomy. How many times has what one would qualify as a “not beautiful” girl ended up with the dream guy in gossip girl? The same goes for 90210. All of the actresses are stunning and always get their dream guy. The one show that I have watched that does a very good job of portraying real life in a school is glee. Yes, sometimes all of the singing and dancing can seem a little cheesy, but it doesn’t make you wish that you were a size 0 with blonde hair and the perfect clothes every moment that you watch it.

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010111//425.glee.cast3.lc.120110.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b213939_grammy_noms_love_way_you_rap_eminem.html&us....

But things are looking up. In the movie, she said that different countries were beginning to make changes to their magazines that were positive. It’s only a matter of time before the trend starts catching on! Jean mentioned this video in the movie, but I really think that everyone should watch it. My mother emailed it to me whenever it first came out, and it is just refreshing to realize that the models you see in the magazines aren't always perfect. 

Dove Evolution:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U

"We've come a long way baby" (8)

My grandmother is my best friend. When I can't stand my parents or anyone else, she is always there. She sends me weekly "Nana's Nuggest" filled with advice and helpful bible versus. She is one of the most Godly woman that I know, and I look up to her because of it. When Ms. Tally told us that over Spring Break we were to interview an older women in our life, I realized that I had never really talked to my grandmother about her early life.


During the interview, after a series of questions I asked her, "What else would you like to add to our study of American women's experience and perspective," she replied with a quote from a very popular cigerette commercial from back when she was younger. Her response was


"'We've have come along way baby (a popular quote for Virginia Slim adds),'" It showed the world that women could now do the same things that men did. They could smoke, drink and go out, things that they never could do. But on the other hand, I think that a lot was lost. Women lost their neatness. We were so protected and cherished, or at least in my community we were. A man would always come to your door to meet your parents, hold doors open for you, and give you the respect that you deserved. I think that that is a good thing, that we lost as women."


After I heard her concluded the interview with that statement, it got me thinking. She was right, we, as woman, have lost a lot of that respect she was talking about. We can't place total blame on men for this however, because by the way some girls dress and act these days does not make it easy to respect us. We were born into a society where women sell themselves for sex, men and women cheat on their spouses and divorce is more common than marriage. What has the world come too? Why has this become okay? Am I old fashion for believe that its not okay? I think it is time that women win back the respect they had. I am not saying that women do not have respect at all, because there are a lot of women I do respect, but I think that its a lot less common for men to respect us as a whole.


With all that said, we have come a long way. Women are taking control and proving themselves, which back in my grandmothers days was very uncommon. "There were not working women back then, it was all run by men, it was strange. Now there are women all over the place, and I like it."

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7sGgjCgFfNI6jhrau3DOEVUPmHedKAoxf__fpkZIRbQyE60A-SkEKSjOAHS54oQOStLNV3wBSOBJ8N-LZWZc2SZpV7H9x8A1ESzZVf1Em6WYBdQkj01jcdwJARtSW4Deg4yckFIpbFc/s320/Virginia%252BSlimsMarlboro--you've%252Bcome%252Ba%252Blong%252Bway%252Bbaby%252B2--various%252Bwomen's%252B83.jpg&imgrefurl=http://virginia-alex.blogspot.com/&usg=__tF4IVF4Pf0DzlbVMSu1apxrRuWY=&h=320&w=235&sz=22&hl=en&start=0&sig2=SdYhczkjfR2phA9upNdnjA&zoom=1&tbnid=PoQMRGRLTWca7M:&tbnh=133&tbnw=107&ei=heaVTer_FYq64AaF0KmqDA&prev=/images%3Fq%3DYou%2527ve%2Bcome%2Ba%2Blong%2Bway%2Bbaby%2Bvirginia%2Bslims%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D906%26bih%3D662%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=376&vpy=195&dur=543&hovh=256&hovw=188&tx=81&ty=172&oei=heaVTer_FYq64AaF0KmqDA&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:0

"Nobody's Child" (7)

While flipping through my Vogue magazine on the flight to the Cayman Islands, expecting to find add after add and read a few mindless articles, I came across one of the most shocking articles that I have read in awhile. It was the story of an author, Taylor Stevens, and how she had been raised in a religious colt since birth. It explained the rules of the colt and her life as she progressed through it, hoping in the end, to remove herself from the colt, and the struggles she had after she did remove herself.

A man that went by the name of David Berg founded the colt that Stevens was born into. He did not want his followers to find jobs, maintain a family consisting of a mother, father and children, or stay in one place for a long period of time. Family bonds were broken, children did most of the work, and privacy did not exist. Steven’s, at age fifteen began begging in Osaka, and talked about how that it was the dead of winter and she was wearing flip flops, but that “no one cared. I belonged to a colt, and I was nobody’s child.” Stevens mentioned that her most prized possession was a cassette recorder that played Greek classical music. Because music and reading of any kind was band, she often played her cassette recorder at night on the lowest volume possible. When she “craved diversion,” this was her escape.

In the late 90’s, Stevens got to choose the next place she wanted to go and she chose Africa. She chose Africa because she wanted to distance herself from the colt. She then married a man from Europe, who was also a part of the colt. She said that they didn’t have the best romantic chemistry but then followed with a very interesting sentence. “We were the only two members of a similar age in the area. As I like to say, did Adam really have a choice about Eve?” 

Once they had their first daughter, Stevens realized that she did not want her daughter to live the same life that she had. They finally left the colt.

“I will never forget how elated I felt the first morning I woke up in our own small apartment, finally free of the eyes that had been watching and judging me my entire life. Going to the grocery story, buying clothes, scheduling doctors appointments—All the ordinary things most adults take for granted—Were frightening and novel experiences for me.”

After reading this article, I began to see similarities between Steven’s story and The Handmaid’s Tale. Steven’s had a loophole, her cassette player, when she needed an escape. This is similar to Ofred and her tricks to keep her sanity. She might not have had anything tangible like Stevens did, but in the scheme of things, it was an escape. One of the things that I found most interesting about this, this article paints a picture of what life out of Gilead would be like if Ofred had escaped. Terrifying. Just doing daily tasks by herself, without someone watching was frightening. The Handmaid’s Tale left us to create our own ending and I feel that if Ofred does get out of Gilead, that she would succeed, like Stevens. She worked so hard to keep her sanity so that if she did get out of this society she would be able to survive.

Stevens is now 38 and has only been educated up to the sixth grade level but has “succeeded.” In the article she talks about how everyone was told that if they left the colt that something bad would happen to them. Well, in Stevens’ case, this was not true, and because she took the risk and left all she had known, she wrote an amazing story. Yes this is only the story of one colt, but this could happen anywhere, just like in The Handmaid’s Tale, and if it does, we are going to want as much knowledge about those situations as we can get. We have a lot to learn from Taylor Stevens.

http://www.vogue.com/magazine/article/nobodys-child/

Cat (6)

Have you ever wondered about the importance of a name? If you do not have a name, who are you? Do you exists? In The Handmaid’s Tale, characters are given new names once the new society is created. The handmaids are given names like “Ofglen” or “Offred” which is our narrator’s new given name. Authority figures, depending on who they are, go by names like “Commander” or “Aunt.” While thinking about this in class the other day, something that I found myself relating this too was the classic story, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The main character Holly refuses to name her own cat. She claims that its because she feels that the cat does not belong to her and that giving it a name adds personal identity to it. So, through out the entire story, she would always refer to her cat as “Cat.”

When you think about the thought of naming a person or animal, it’s a delicate process. Parents often think of names for their children months before they are born. And how often do we find ourselves stressing about what to name our next dog? A name is something that determines who you are, your existence. I found that in The Handmaids Tale, women are given new names, in order to de-personalize the situation. We are first introduced to this very early on in the story, as the society begins to change. Luke and the narrator are in the processes of planning their escape when they realize that they cannot leave their cat alone. Luke soon comes to the conclusion that the only thing to do is kill the cat. He then tells the narrator he will “handle it.” After the narrator hears her husband say that phrase she says, “and because he said it instead of her, I knew he meant kill. That is what you have to do before you kill, I thought. You have to create an it, where none was before.” The husband was creating a less personal situation for the family, by de-humanizing the cat.

Later on in the book we see this same thing happen, only with one of the handmaids, Ofglen. Ofglen kills herself and there is a new Ofglen that replaces her. When Offred asks if Ofglen has been transferred, the new Ofglen replies saying, “I am Ofglen.” The narrator then goes on to talk about how she never did know Ofglen’s real name. “That is how you can get lost, in a sea of names. It wouldn’t be easy to find her now.” Because we are never revealed Ofglen’s real name, it’s as if she does not exist.

This society has it down to a science. Take away their name, and it becomes a lot easier to do awful things and feel better about themselves. We do not only see it here, but in everything that is done. The Commanders treat the Handmaid’s like sex slaves without guilt because they don’t know their real names, their personal identity. To them they are someone’s property, the property of Fred or Glen. They might as well just call them “Cat.”

So next time you are naming something, remember how important a name can be, because without one, you can just become another “missing person” (p. 113). 

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGVwPA4SPyFfQr5uZtpywxswwpklu0H0eDIa6KfcTb3OAeS71Tis5mSfu_n0FG5ZtgVMuT3SoO-PIE9BXwFAv4fgZC8bRsGWYMAN7XSX0ChSfEr4r1FUuK673vWuA1j8YLk-KeeRYK5Hdo/s400/cat-breakfast_at_tiffanys_4txxwa.gif&imgrefurl=http://imfashiongeek.blogspot.com/2010/12/catcatcat-and-cat.html&usg=__AbL6E208AURZLKmlIxVDS_leF2A=&h=225&w=300&sz=56&hl=en&start=0&sig2=3GXO-Kr5UzsE9T8NrB3XCQ&zoom=1&tbnid=-6R11uojqlrPCM:&tbnh=160&tbnw=213&ei=CL50TbH7LYnChAe91OE0&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbreakfast%2Bat%2Btiffanys%2Bwith%2Bcat%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1249%26bih%3D664%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C79&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=380&vpy=53&dur=1029&hovh=180&hovw=240&tx=50&ty=134&oei=CL50TbH7LYnChAe91OE0&page=1&ndsp=15&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&biw=1249&bih=664